Who’s not Me Too?

The morning newspaper these days is splashed with Me Too news.

The Me Too movement has opened a can of worms in the Bollywood industry. Every day there are shocking revelations that makes one wonder about the mask these so called elite educated men wear and lead such a hypocritical life. I wonder how many more will come out in the open.

As I sip my coffee and wonder about the duality of people, my nanny broke my train of thoughts with her mundane story of traffic jams and crowded buses. But something she said made me realize me too is everywhere. She went on chattering about difficult it is to board crowded buses with men trying to take advantage of the crowd – how disgusting it is to go through that ordeal every day.

It brought back my memories of college and school days when we travelled in buses and had to endure this harassment every day in some form or the other. Some will try to press against you, or sly their hand into your dress or breathe heavily down your neck. It did not just end there. If you are on the road, no matter what you wear, there will be those jobless youths who would make catcalls or pass lewd comments – there will be those sly passers-by who would just touch you inappropriately and run away – the list was endless. If you go to tuition or schools, there are those predator teachers who try to take advantage in the name of teaching. If you are in workplace, you are bound to face harassment of a different kind altogether. Thankfully, many corporate offices have anti-harassment laws but how much of it is effective is yet to be pondered upon.

So, what do we call this movement then, ‘Who’s not me too!’ because I believe every woman has faced this at some point in their lives, be it in lesser or greater degrees. How do we raise our voice against these nameless faces? Because these faces are hiding in every household and may seem harmless to their family members but the demons inside them are faced by women outside. How do we pinpoint and shame them? How to get back those years which leave a trauma inside you and you bury them deep inside within layers of emotions, so much so that sometimes it looks normal when it happens?

Me too has been existing since ages but it has been given a platform to women around the world to come out and voice their angst and trauma. It should be taken to greater heights where every woman, girl from any walk of life finds the courage to speak up and get justice!

Just Like That...

Everyday on our way to office, we pass through a small village. As we pass through the meandering lanes flanked by cultivation of varying kinds, my mind gets lulled into an odd type of serenity. It’s refreshing to pass through this place, which is far away from pollution, honking cars, concrete roads, bustling crowds, never-ending constructions, towering buildings, and flashy malls. Time seems to have stopped there for a moment.

Unlike the city mansions or houses, you come across huts with tiled or thatched roofs or colorful cottages splashed with all shades of colors.

People still cook in those olden ways – stove made of bricks and earthen vessels placed over it. Women cook outside their houses and I see them fanning the fire using the age-old conventional method.  I see men brushing their teeth with twigs. I see children going to school adjacent to a temple and waving at us in innocent glee. I see goats tied to pillar posts and trying to balance themselves precariously on a ledge to reach that illusive wisp of the tattered flying cloth. I see sheeps lying contentedly in their makeshift shelters and nuzzling against each other. I see cows grazing and walking on the roads and blissfully unaware of the honking and  the whizzing cars. I see hens with their brood of chicks clucking and joyfully crossing the road, oblivious of the approaching vehicles. I see a small pond teeming with fish and flashing ripples everytime they swim to the surface. I see miles and miles of cauliflow cultivations, followed by cabbage cultivations, paddy fields, mango orchards, and vineyards. The rich cultivations tempt you to alight from you car and pluck all those tempting fruits. Once I was even fortunate to catch a fleeting glimpse of the swish of a long foxy tail while it was crossing the road and vanished into the thick groves.

I see the sky meeting the earth and it feels you can just touch the clouds if you reach the other side of the road. With the hills in the background, and the clouds swirling abvove the hills and casting a misty shroud over the peaks, it takes your breath away! Everyday I have been passing through the same place but I cant take my eyes off the same set of scenes and sceneries. It has a comforting touch to it. Once the cab hits the main road, I get jolted into reality as I see cars racing past each other, honking endlessly, and people showing no signs of slowing down.... and it seemed like a dream, the sleepy-eyed hamlet that I had just passed by!

Traffic Woes!

I was listening to some excerpts of Oprah Winfrey's interview and some of the things she said was so true about India's traffic system. It was so funny the way she put it: "Mumbai's traffic seemed straight out of a video game," and another thing she said about red light signal was "Is it for your entertainment." She put it in a very nice way but it really sets you into thinking about the way the foreigners view us. Do they view us in a funny sort of wonderment way or do they view us in disdain about our utter disregard for traffic rules.

Driving through the lanes of India is indeed like a video game, where there is no rule for switching lanes, where you honk the ears out till others give way, where we can jump over lanes to outdo traffic snarls, and where we have no respect for traffic signals and only use them if we are watched over by the traffic constable.

Are we examples of utter chaotic traffic system outside India? Even small town cities/towns/countries outside India follow traffic rules because of heavy fine system till it has become a habit and ingrained in every individual. Why is it so hard for us to follow traffic rules? Here, instead, despite fine systems, there is no compunction to follow because of deep-grained corruption at the lowest levels. Here the traffic officers are more inclined to catch you if you defy the rules to make easy bucks rather than to stop you from doing the next time! They are very prompt in catching bikers without helmets and you should see the glee on their faces when the biker has to fish out bribes from his wallets. They position themselves at the most unlikely places where they catch easy prey. If they can catch no one, they will just stop vehicles and take ample advantage of their profession to harrass civilians.

Oprah's words about the traffic system hit me hard because I drive everyday and I need not be an outsider to see how badly we behave on road while driving. Everytime a biker or a car overtakes me from the wrong lane, I curse under my breath but I can do nothing beyond that. Everytime there is utter disregard of traffic rules, with cars streaming in from all directions and no one is willing to give in, you have no option but to give up. Either you follow the chaotic stream and become aggressive like others or get bullied if you try to be proper and follow the rules.

Another thing that we lack is complete traffic sense - this goes for pedestrians too. It seems there is an invariable urge for them to cross the road when the traffic signal turns green and the cars are surging ahead or they will cross without looking sideways as if its of least concern to them whether a car is coming their way or not. And if they happen to look your way, they will glare at you in such a way as if you have done a crime in stopping their casual jog across the street!

One more thing that irks me is when I see bikers or cars parking just at the turn of a corner with no care or worry that some vehicle may come and turn and may not see them being parked in the wrong way. People just park anywhere and everywhere with utter disregard that they are blocking the way or the road is getting jammed because of their attitude. I guess our attitude is, as long as we benefit or what befits us well, why worry how is it impacting others!

The most dangerous amongst all is the quintessential auto. They think they are invincible and are adept in wounding their way around any traffic snarl. They will veer so close to your vehicle that you can just squirm and pray that they don't touch yours.

Another wondrous thing that happens often is that despite an instruction for heavy-weight vehicles or slow-speeding vehicles to keep always on the left side, they will always drudge in their own sweet speed on the right and at the end moment will take a sudden turn towards left, and of course without switching on the indicators. As if they are trying to say blatantly - "we love to defy and we love blocking your way."

I learn everyday on the road but it is teaching me nothing but aggressiveness and impatience. I am learning how not to be bullied and I am learning that it is not a sensible thing here to mess with errant autos and unruly bikers and let them have their way. I am learning that sometimes my ego gets the better of me when I see a huge bus or car bullying me into a side and I refusing to get bullied, ensure that I get the better of that vehicle but later curse myself for being so foolish.

I am scared what I am learning and what future entails for people on the road here. Will it get from worse to uncontrollable or will it be remain one of those constant existing traits of Indian cities that outsiders tend to associate us with and soon may get the title of 'Eighth wonder of the world!'

Potpourrie: Drifter

My mind drifts endlessly like a piece of paper

Blown here and there by the errant weather

Sometimes it lands on the bright orange flowers nodding merrily at me

and sometimes on children playing, careless and free.

Sometimes it settles on the frail old lady staring vacantly,

Wonder what she is thinking or is it a silent plea?

Sometimes it goes down the memory lane

And settles on yesterdays' fun in the rain,

Where life was all about meeting friends;

And mooning about future career and trends.

Where one moment of fun was not about being someone,

But being there for someone was rather more fun

My mind drifts aimlessly here and there

Finally it's forced to settle on the silly machine that I stare

And gives me a reality check, so there.

Cant wait to be that piece of paper again;

Where I can wander aimlessly now and then!

~Piyali~

Potterring Around

Finally going to fulfill my dream of sitting on a potter's wheel and feel the clay come alive in my hands. Feeling quite excited. Made a tortoise on the first day. Imagination ran amok. Well, the tortoise looked more of a pre-historic tortoise than the present-day one and it had two teeth jutting out like water seals. wanted to make them cute lil' buck teeth but turned out to be more of those hideous looking vampire teeth. But nevertheless, i find it cute and may be a bit biased. Neck is bit too thick for my taste but this one is a sturdy one! Cant wait to make more and see what new creations and imaginations come out of clays!